apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
