Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
