Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
