Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
if i died would you start the facebook group?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
