You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
People in love make me want to vomit
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
