What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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