why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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