Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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