I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
