Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize