Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
