I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Randomize
