yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
