My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
