If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
