finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
