saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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