i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
