His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
