what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I am in a vortex of obligation.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
