swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
