It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
