oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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