My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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