You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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