Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
