In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
