You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
