I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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