he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The uberlube is also flammable
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
