apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
