the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
