her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Is it penis luge time yet?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
