Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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