EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
