apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
