what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize