and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
