What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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