It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
