Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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