yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
