Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
