Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
