Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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