what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
