Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize