Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize