After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
