Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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