If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
