hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
