The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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