Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
from now on my penis is your penis
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
