(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
