hotel room ftw
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
