its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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