WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
