sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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