You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
