I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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