in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
