At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
