i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize