I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
