im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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