So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
