I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
