This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
