I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
